Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
