The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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