He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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