Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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