the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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