i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
