You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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