my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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