So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
