im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
