u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
