Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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