Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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