I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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