Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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