He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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