we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
These Teachers Need To Be Fired
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.