one might say we're banned from that church
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together