you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
