she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
