We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize