oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
