i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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