Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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