It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
