Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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