FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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