hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
