I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
