Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is premature balding
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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