You don't have asthma, your pregnant
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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