How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
