after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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