Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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