who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
