Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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