a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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