She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I need moral support for this bender
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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