We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Couch. On fire.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
