I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
