"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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