I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I had to cum in my sink.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
