how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
