Will you blow on my dice?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
