Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
