Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize