If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
