And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
