The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
People in love make me want to vomit
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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