rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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