walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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