i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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