so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize