So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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