plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
