dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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