mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Come share oat with me in your robe
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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