So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
