the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I wish I only lived at night.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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