Sponge bath it is.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
